Wandering

In the last few weeks, I have really felt a closeness to God and seeing Him specifically work in my life, and while it is a wonderful to experience. I have been incredibly humbled. I’ve been humbled to realize that my “new found” closeness is the result of my “return” to walking closely with God. While I’ve been patiently trying to do the right things, I haven’t been walking with God.

What humbles me is that God keeps coming after me and “wooing” me to Himself. The image I get is of a child at the grocery store with his parents and he wanders off – intrigued by some new cereal or something on the toy aisle. When a child wanders off, mom and dad search frantically and generally are able to put a little (hopefully healthy) fear in that child. I feel like I am that child over and over again – I keep wandering off from Father. I keep getting intrigued by whatever and then I realize that I’ve been walking alone – I look back – and there is Father, waiting with a smile on His face. I am humbled because God keeps coming after me again and again – He keeps lovingly calling me back to Himself. Why? I don’t get it — I can’t conceive of His patience – I can’t fathom His love – I am broken to the core over His gracious forgiveness again and again.

So, there is a part of me that wants to say – never again, I won’t wander. I’ll stay by Father’s side as I walk through life, and yet I know that I will wander. I just want to wake up quicker every time I wander and look back to the Father and join Him once again. May my wanderings grow smaller and smaller – because I am comprehending more and more that my life is only about walking with Him — all else is nothing and useless and fleeting.

I was struck as I read Oswald Chambers this morning: “Have you really come to your last days? You have often come to them in your mind, but have you really experienced them? You cannot die or go to your funeral in a mood of excitement. Death means you stop being. You must agree with God and stop being the intensely striving kind of Christian you have been.” I want to stop being an intensely striving kind of Christian …

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~ by Ted Wueste on January 15, 2008.

One Response to “Wandering”

  1. O to grace how great a debtor
    Daily I’m constrained to be!
    Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
    Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
    Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
    Prone to leave the God I love;
    Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
    Seal it for Thy courts above.

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