Over the last few months, I have found myself awakened in the middle of the night. This is incredibly strange because in 38 years of existence – I have never not slept well. I would sleep through the kids crying in the middle of the night when they were new-borns – I’ve slept through earthquakes in California – the list could go on. I don’t wake up … until recently.

And, when I wake up – there is something that God is doing in my heart. I sense Him calling me to Himself – calling me to trust Him – to find my satisfaction and contentment in Him. I know the drill – I know the theology, but the Father wants me. Believing certain things (holding to theological suppositions about the nature of life and the nature of God) is a starting point … however, it is becoming clear that the Father wants me. He wants my heart. It is so much less threatening to just hold onto theology and not let myself be held by the Him.

The last time I woke up at 3am – honestly, I watched TV and surfed the internet — trying to not think, not engage, not interact. But, tonight – I am undone, I am drawn to the Father and am being broken of my attempts to control life by mentally organizing and categorizing everything into nice neat packages that I can manage. I am ready to let go and be held by Him.

Awakened? No longer able to sleep through life … ah, awakened!


~ by Ted Wueste on April 3, 2008.

4 Responses to “Awakened”

  1. And to keep you awake during a very busy season! Doesn’t God have ANY sense of timing!!??!!

  2. I think that might just be the point … He wants me to pay attention during this busy season when I could so easily be distracted from the reality that He is the point/He is my reason.

  3. a good word. love your title.

  4. humble…love reading your thoughts.

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