Feeling Overwhelmed …

I’ve been learning recently that I love to be in control. Honestly, it’s nothing new but I’ve seen it in a new way. I realize that I like for things to be “in order” … I don’t like conflict – I don’t like having loose ends of any kind – I don’t like not knowing what is going to happen. All of this because I like to be in control. And, what I’ve been seeing is that this desire to be “in control” makes me smaller because I have to retreat and protect and hide from truth.

In his book, The Naked Now, Richard Rohr writes: “The most amazing fact about Jesus, unlike almost any other religious founder, is that he found God in disorder and imperfection—and told us that we must do the same or we would never be content on this earth.”

What I’ve been learning that is new and profound & I desire for it to begin to penetrate to the depths of who I am is … that I need to learn to live in the middle of feeling overwhelmed and out of control. First, it is only then that I am living in the truth. In a sinful, broken world – the truth is that things are out of control and overwhelming. The needs of the world are more than I can bear. From an early age, I was taught that significance and worth was tied to having life figured out and “having it all together.” However, I am seeing in new ways what I’ve always known theoretically: that my identity is tied to being made in God’s image and being loved completely by him. Second, it is only when I am overwhelmed and honest about it that I am living dependently upon God — the way I was made to live. It is only when I allow God to be “in control” and the savior/redeemer of this world that my heart can be alive and full.


~ by Ted Wueste on April 20, 2010.

One Response to “Feeling Overwhelmed …”

  1. Ouch. For you. For me, too.

    Most every time I hear/read some connection between chaos, life, and God, I’m drawn to wonder if that is what all those Psalms/psalmists were referring to when they write of God being a rock, fortress, shield, etc. Not just according to the situation at-hand, but the chaos of the situation. It’s one thing to fight against an enemy (somewhat common theme of the rock-psalms), but to do it with allergies and kids having a hard time at school and my long-term savings rate falling to 1% and …

    In weakness God’s grace is sufficient. In chaos… is it God’s love or presence? His character?

    If you have time and/or clarity (grin), I’d love to read what are your ‘practices of dependence’!

    [[ what does it mean that your WordPress theme is “Chaotic Soul”?!?! ]]

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